Agitated

I hate things getting out of controls... especially my controls. When I can't get things done, when I can't figure out why, when things dun happen the way that "I suppose they should work", when it seems like no matter what I do it is just wrong, when it seems like only me having the problem & I have absolutely no idea why is this happening... I freak out =.=

However, as time goes by, the "freak-out-time" is getting shorter. I dunno it is because I can let it go easier or it is because I get used to the failures. Somehow the freak-out still happens every now and then, yes, when things get out of MY controls.

Some said we need to let go and put down. I do understand but this thing is like ghost (or true love) -> which everyone talking about it but almost none really seen it. In addition, simply "let go" n "put down" what cannot be achieved does somehow sounds a little not so cool to me...

Whatsoever, I prefer the quote from starwar, "Fear leads to anger, and anger leads to darkness." I guess I am an angry kid because of my fear. Fear about things unpredictable n target unachievable. I have to overcome my fear, then maybe I wont freak out so easily. Most importantly, this quote sounds much cooler than "let go" n "put down"!!! XD

So, now, I am telling myself for the uncountable time since the 1st time I told myself this. Overcome the fear of losing it, then only you will get to the next level.


(today's blog is still unorganized & unpresentable, but I am trying ok?)